Linda and her husband are both 64 years old and approaching their golden years of retirement. But to Linda, they don’t look so golden.
Her annual income is approximately $115,000 and her husband’s income is $45,000. They still owe about $180,000 on their home, but her husband is “reluctant to pay it off,” Linda told personal finance expert Dave Ramsey and co-host John Deloney. I told Dr. recent episodes Ramsay Shaw’s.
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“In a way, I tried to step up and say, ‘When I retire, I’m going to have to sell my house and downsize, so I won’t have a house payment.'” But she said, He said this. Her husband, she says, is also reluctant to cut staff.
“And I have no idea how to get him involved.”
When couples disagree about money
Linda has $175,000 in her 401(k), owns two rental properties, and just paid off two cars. On her first property, she has about $12,000 left to pay off. She bought her second property for her daughter-in-law, who has cancer, to live close to her and help care for her. Linda still owes $62,000 on her property.
Her husband?he no retirement allowancehe also has no interest in helping her with her rental property.
They split the groceries and bills, but they own assets, pay off debts, save for retirement. Yet, as Ramsay puts it, they’re still “separating the mustard in the fridge.”
“I don’t know what exactly to say, Linda. This is very painful,” Ramsey says. “You guys are so isolated.”
However, different positions for couples are not new. In fact, this pattern has been present throughout our 29 years of marriage.
“I don’t know what to do with this,” Ramsey says. “I want to tell you to go to marriage counseling. But guess what? He’s not on board. He’s not going to do that.”
Linda admits that it’s not a financial issue they’re dealing with.the marriage problems.
the study A study by Ramsey Solutions found that 41% of couples with consumer debt argue about money. In fact, money is the thing we argue about the most. However, among those who say their marriage is great, 87% say they set long-term goals for their marriage.
read more: Thanks to Jeff Bezos, it’s now possible to Turn prime real estate into cash using $100 — Save yourself the headaches of being a landlord.Here’s how to do it
To stay or not?
“There are some pretty significant challenges going on in your marriage,” Deloney says. Linda and her husband have separate bank accounts, with a shared account for storing everyday items like groceries and bills, and a savings account for major expenses like fixing broken appliances. there is.
“That’s exactly the situation I set up my college roommates, Buddy and Craig,” Deloney said jokingly. “It’s not a marriage. It’s a couple of roommates.”
Ultimately, Deloney says, whether Linda wants to stay like this for another 30 years, or whether she’ll “make a fuss” and say she can’t continue to use Linda as her bank, that could mean “Linda quits.” I say I can’t.
But “avoidance can’t be a strategy,” he says.
If Linda were to try to “reconcile” the situation, she would likely have to sell two of her rental properties to pay off her home, Ramsey said. And once they retire, he won’t have any savings of his own, so he’ll “eat on your retirement savings.”
Important points for young couples
Decades ago, Ramsey might have encouraged the couple to see a marriage counselor. But over time, I learned that it only works if both parties are interested in making a change. He didn’t see it in Linda in the conversation or in her husband from her broadcast.
He says it’s important for anyone considering marriage or a lifelong commitment to find out if they’re married. Money is also on the same page. (Kids, in-laws, religion as well). Otherwise, “you’ll end up living with roommates you don’t like.”
If you experience problems early in your marriage, we strongly recommend that you consult a marriage counselor.
Deloney explains that this type of relationship is itself a form of infidelity. “If you have a golf club, you can cheat on your wife. And you can have an affair while working,” he says. In this case, Linda’s husband lends money to his wife. “Are you going to break up with your wife even though we’re sleeping in the same house?”
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